-I alone; am the one you dont know you need. You dont know you need me. Make me
blind when your eyes close, time me to the bed post- Eve6
Beautiful oblivion, rendezvous and I'm through with...wait; am I? Or am I the one you keep to feed or ego? Do you feed mine?
"Live in the moment." I was told this two nights ago by Japan and honestly...I should.???Not in the intent he meant, but I took some serious thought about it, why not? If I sat and analyzed I probably could come up with a few reasons why not to.
Living in the moment is why majority of the people who go, "FML" are in the situations they are in. Life is up for interpretation and we are no longer the pen strokers, but just the ink that smears the page. I want to stand strong and be the author of my life, but isn't that my issue?
Control. It's a bitch.
Control is the reason for my weezin'. The reason for my anxiety, my social inadequacies and ultimately my loneliness.
-So the way you act, is it just an act or some strange courtship ritual
A habitual nervous reaction
Hey its just me, set yourself free, why dont you let me know whats going on
Inside your cluttered head-
The psychological makep of individuals is so fascinating. We sub and consciously do little things all the time. Such as; I keep adding Eve 6 lyrics. But why? Because I genuinely like these songs and the meaning of the lyrics have something to do with the message of this blog...
Or am I venting specifically targeting one person out my audience? Quite possibly.( I know you are reading)
I could just feel the need to put meaningless words into a cyber space of letters and feelings.
FEELINGS. What a word.
To live in the moment or to not...that is the question.
-Call me.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Did I rock your boat?...Good.
"Every good writer can focus, but a great writer can take you on a journey."-Ayn Rand
First and foremost I want to thank God for having my back. He nevers puts more on my shoulders than I can handle. when he created me, he knew he was creating a strong woma who would make a difference in this world; even if it's in the smallest way. Life is a test. We either fail or pass. Pass; we are granted a golden ticket pass those pearly gates. Fail; we are dropped into a firey pit of total despair. I not only want to pass this test but I want some extra credit!
Set backs have not haltered but altered my diet routine:\ Making the exercise part harder. don't fret, it will be okay! I am -37 lb and going strong as usual! Don't ever let life's stress get you in a rut. Set a goal and go for it! Shit is going to happen, baby-but we know this and we are prepared. In all my 21 years, the one amazing lesson I have learned is: Hope for the best but prepare for the worse. Every year, we as human beings set out to improve our lives and make that year better than the last. What could make this year better for you? Me, personally; it's my health.
I love creepin on facebook at people, because I learn so much! One of the really awesome things I see is people I know expressing their triumphs with weight. Like Hunter Wilson & Kristin Scott. Both beautiful women who have worked their tushies off and look great! They both have been secret inspirations for me! I wonder if I am an inspiration for anyone? Haters gonna hate, but lover's gonna love. I see alot of people I care about wanting and taking initative to become healthier. Like my Gin, she is on a warpath to becoming healthier. My sister talks about her body and joins me when I exercise; which is awesome cause she is 14! (¬ in an unhealthy aneroxic way)
Bee is signing up at my gym and going, Gina from what I know is monitoring her weight,& CourtyFfacee is doing her own diet and rocking at it! When we get our townhome, it will be stocked w nothing but goodness! lol (& alcohol) My point is; I love to see others being motivated, it pushes me to strive more!
Now on to "hatin", lol. Not really, but venting is nice. I can't really vent on here without letting certain people know I am venting about them or something they know about. Damn. I haven;t been keeping on w my journal, either. Shoot. How am I going to write my autobiography when I'm not doucmenting shit!!!
You do get that's the whole reason I do this blogging stuff, right?
Let me rock your boat for a minute.
First and foremost I want to thank God for having my back. He nevers puts more on my shoulders than I can handle. when he created me, he knew he was creating a strong woma who would make a difference in this world; even if it's in the smallest way. Life is a test. We either fail or pass. Pass; we are granted a golden ticket pass those pearly gates. Fail; we are dropped into a firey pit of total despair. I not only want to pass this test but I want some extra credit!
Set backs have not haltered but altered my diet routine:\ Making the exercise part harder. don't fret, it will be okay! I am -37 lb and going strong as usual! Don't ever let life's stress get you in a rut. Set a goal and go for it! Shit is going to happen, baby-but we know this and we are prepared. In all my 21 years, the one amazing lesson I have learned is: Hope for the best but prepare for the worse. Every year, we as human beings set out to improve our lives and make that year better than the last. What could make this year better for you? Me, personally; it's my health.
I love creepin on facebook at people, because I learn so much! One of the really awesome things I see is people I know expressing their triumphs with weight. Like Hunter Wilson & Kristin Scott. Both beautiful women who have worked their tushies off and look great! They both have been secret inspirations for me! I wonder if I am an inspiration for anyone? Haters gonna hate, but lover's gonna love. I see alot of people I care about wanting and taking initative to become healthier. Like my Gin, she is on a warpath to becoming healthier. My sister talks about her body and joins me when I exercise; which is awesome cause she is 14! (¬ in an unhealthy aneroxic way)
Bee is signing up at my gym and going, Gina from what I know is monitoring her weight,& CourtyFfacee is doing her own diet and rocking at it! When we get our townhome, it will be stocked w nothing but goodness! lol (& alcohol) My point is; I love to see others being motivated, it pushes me to strive more!
Now on to "hatin", lol. Not really, but venting is nice. I can't really vent on here without letting certain people know I am venting about them or something they know about. Damn. I haven;t been keeping on w my journal, either. Shoot. How am I going to write my autobiography when I'm not doucmenting shit!!!
You do get that's the whole reason I do this blogging stuff, right?
Let me rock your boat for a minute.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
They call her a Sinner, they call her a Whore
Dear God,
I know we talked last night, but I have the need to talk to you right now. I can't just stop in the middle of work and bow my head. I have always enjoyed writing you. Sometimes when I write in my journal, I talk directly to you or to Homey.
----- I hope you are taking good care of him. He was one of your best angels here on earth. He sure did straighten me out, even from the grave.------
I know I don't talk about you as much as others would like, but actions speak louder than words, even the ones I am writing right now. I continously hear and see people preach on you, but it's so hard to want to listen when I know the truth about them.(Especially on fb...give me a break!) I mean, it's one thing to say Thank you and how wonderful you are-but when I am continously seeing post where people are preaching about you, I can't help but wanna defriend them bcz they are SUCH hypocrites.
I know that's always going to be the case, but God; you know. Granted some people will read this and be like, "What?! She is such a BITCH & she wants to blog about God?" Yeah, that's right. but I am not preaching. I am strictly writing to you, Lord.
-Although, every day I see Ms. Roberta's praise to you & it truly uplifts me. So if you read this Ms. Roberta, thank you :)
None of us are perfect and we all have faults. This is why I don't PREACH the word. I only show your love. Because you most definitely know I am a little sinner and we all know it! lol.
What is so amazing is: Even though I don't-attend church, read the bible daily or go around being holier than thou; you are always listening and always there. Remember the other day at the redlight and the cop was behind me? That was all you. Thank you. Or when I was crying because I was scared and you just swept me in your warmth? That was you and thank you.
God; your power does amaze me.
I was sitting at my desk yesterday here a work thinking about if there was ever a crisis and someone did put a gun to my head and tell me to deny you, what would I do? No doubt would I tell them to just put a bullet in my head bcz that will never happen. If I ever happen to be around for the Tribulation; I would rather suffer days and years of agony than to spend an eternity in hell. I do believe in the "millenium" theory. You already know this. you know everything because you are everywhere.
Thank you for always listening.
I know we talked last night, but I have the need to talk to you right now. I can't just stop in the middle of work and bow my head. I have always enjoyed writing you. Sometimes when I write in my journal, I talk directly to you or to Homey.
----- I hope you are taking good care of him. He was one of your best angels here on earth. He sure did straighten me out, even from the grave.------
I know I don't talk about you as much as others would like, but actions speak louder than words, even the ones I am writing right now. I continously hear and see people preach on you, but it's so hard to want to listen when I know the truth about them.(Especially on fb...give me a break!) I mean, it's one thing to say Thank you and how wonderful you are-but when I am continously seeing post where people are preaching about you, I can't help but wanna defriend them bcz they are SUCH hypocrites.
I know that's always going to be the case, but God; you know. Granted some people will read this and be like, "What?! She is such a BITCH & she wants to blog about God?" Yeah, that's right. but I am not preaching. I am strictly writing to you, Lord.
-Although, every day I see Ms. Roberta's praise to you & it truly uplifts me. So if you read this Ms. Roberta, thank you :)
None of us are perfect and we all have faults. This is why I don't PREACH the word. I only show your love. Because you most definitely know I am a little sinner and we all know it! lol.
What is so amazing is: Even though I don't-attend church, read the bible daily or go around being holier than thou; you are always listening and always there. Remember the other day at the redlight and the cop was behind me? That was all you. Thank you. Or when I was crying because I was scared and you just swept me in your warmth? That was you and thank you.
God; your power does amaze me.
I was sitting at my desk yesterday here a work thinking about if there was ever a crisis and someone did put a gun to my head and tell me to deny you, what would I do? No doubt would I tell them to just put a bullet in my head bcz that will never happen. If I ever happen to be around for the Tribulation; I would rather suffer days and years of agony than to spend an eternity in hell. I do believe in the "millenium" theory. You already know this. you know everything because you are everywhere.
Thank you for always listening.
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