Beauty Or Beast

I rather adore the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast, but it brings up a really good point. Majority of society really DOESNT look past the outer appearance. Sure, there are situations and a low number of people that genuinely do and are given the chance to see through the outer shell-but what is the survey number? Very low.
I have known ALOT of people who say it isn't "looks" that matter to them, but I beg to differ. & When given the chance to prove society wrong, they usually have an alternative motive. Money, advancement, pity; just a few to name. Hey; I admit to being one of these-that's for sure. Although, the more I thought about it, the worse I felt.
I meant a genuinely SWEET person a few days ago & all I could think was, "Man, his lazy eye is real creepy." He cldn't help it (well glasses) &&& the kind sir asked for my number. I declined, ONLY TO FIND OUT HE DROVE A CADILLAC CTS & co-owner of a dealership. Damn. I missed a good one.
Isn't that messed up? I was upset that I didn't realize he was loaded and no that I lucked out on a probabley awesomely good guy! This encounter really got me to thinking about the way people are viewed. I highly doubt I am alone in this.
Not to even mention myself, BUT think about it. I am a thicker girl & I understand preferences. Everyone has them. I dont like bigger guys. I PREFER skinny, stocky or built (& Tall<3)  I am a hypocrite cz I'm a big girl. Can you imagine the guys that will open up to me once I lose weight? That is NOT my goal, but just something to ponder. Will my taste in men change? Will they guys who drool over me now, not like me then? I will still be just as Gorgeous, if not MORE! lol.
Honestly-If you cant like me fat, you wont have me thin!:D

I bet he would understand a heart like mine

I heard Jesus drank wine. Does that make it cool for me?
I weighed in yesterday, only a lb:( Not too happy, but it was a rough week all around. It's amazing how I hold things in. I must really take after my father more than I knew.
I miss Mo.
Maybe that's part of my issue last week, I just wanted her, you know? [still do]
Anyhoo, I have to focus on my goals at the moment. I let them slip & I have to stop that. I AM SO PISSED I ONLY LOST A POUND!!!! I thought I would drop quickly-its my own fault though, as always. I am a whole - 9 lb in three weeks. That's 3 lb a week average but that isn't going to get me anywhere near my goal by the time I get my apt! I cant seem to decide between 50 or 80 lb. I want to be comfortable, but I have NO CLUE what I will look like 50 lb less. I am just shooting for whatever makes me physically comfortable. A size 12 jeans would be rad:D I am possibly going to lose my boobies:( No Bueno! Depending on my insurance, I may just get surgery-I may need to with skin. If I am going to kick my ass and drop the weight, I think I earn surgery lol. No implants though, just a lift.
       -This "No boyfriend til I drop my weight" sucks too. I mean-there are plenty of potentials & ponies BUT I cant help but miss & think about certain ones &&& I cant stand it. :(((((((((( At the same time though, I don't need a man to make me complete & that's my whole point to this stand I am taking. I'm single by choice bcz when the right one does come along, it will make it all so much more worth it. I don't even know if I believe in marriage for my generation. I want what my grandparents had, but that's a fairytale & I don't believe in fairytales. I want what country songs are made of.  If the "right one" does come along,then he will have the power to change my mind.

[Off topic BUT I just had a conversation in regards to pity with a coworker & it really got me thinking...Why? Why pity? Pity does NO GOOD. It just makes the person feel even more down. People need love, support, & a firm kick in the ass!]


So here is to FIVE LB THIS WEEK! :D

Devour-its your final hour

I am stuck in this weird Shinedown obsession. Every song of theirs speaks to me. I swear I am not riding the purple fairy, just they are really amazing. I can honestly say Nickelback's post 2010 stuff is my favorite but Shinedown just gets me. Their remake of Lynard Skynard's "Simple Man" just chills me to the bone. The Crow & the Butterfly, Devour, Diamond Eyes-they are so good it makes me sick! Especially Diamond Eyes. With my recent exploration of dating\talking to military men, that Boom Lay....Mmmm. it makes me insane! If I am in the car, I look like a handicapped Walrus from my ancient warrior arm dances that you can only do while sitting in a car. If I am in my office, I jam out with my eyeballs cause  I can't allow my fellow coworkers to spy on my ancient dance-they may want to learn it!
Had my cheatmeal yesterday, then had a lovely date with my bathroom shortly after. I guess the strength of my stomache is weakening. Gorging on fajita's and brownie sundae is not recommended when you are 20 minutes from home. My mother likes to try and tell me things while I meditate, painfully. Isn't she a doll?!

[My neck hurts today. I think it's the repetitve position I have to sit in for work.]


OMG, their song "Her name is Alice"-OMG!

I had someone call me concieted this weekend, bcz I am not only blogging about my diet and weightloss but I am recording it on fb. What is wrong with that? Not only could I potentially be an inspiration to girls like myself but I am also publically held accountable for my success or failure. It can keep me in check. I am very competitive and I am competing with the public to succeed. I see no reason not to and to call me concieted...well honey-you are just jealous. Soon I will be smaller than you & that shall give you an even bigger reason to be a bitch. I don't like being mean, ever-but talk shit, get hit *Hustler*

Possible outcome-Jordin Sparks

NEGATIVE EIGHT POUNDS!

  My future husband once I hit my weight goal! I'm not sure if I have made this public knowledge but I plan on staying single until I hit my goalweight. Due to, my view on relationships, myself and guys will change. Granted having a facebook status of "relationship" is nice & all but too many people (including me) settle. I am done with settling. I want exactly what I want & I am not budging this time. I know alot of really sweet guys and good looking ones, but they just aren't him. God has my back. He will take care of me if I take care of me. Which is what I am doing.
:D so to all the people who actually read this, we can do this. We are strong. We are beautiful & we are one of a kind. We deserve what we want. Stand with me & make a difference.