Life has never been simple and peaceful for very long with me it seems. When I am truly happy and nothing is going wrong, I am constantly waiting for a shoe to drop. I know that's not the way to be but how can I not? Do you not know my childhood?! People just dissappoint us. However; I very much am a social creature and love interaction.
I HATE BEING NEGLECTED! I don't crawl up peoples asses and blow their shit up, but if you call me and text, I ALWAYS answer in a timely matter. To go days without communicating with me is not okay and down right hurts me,:( especially when you know already that I am upset! (Do you truly not give a fuck?) It just infuriates the Storm even more. This has been an issue with more than one important person in my life. I mean; why do people feel the need to underappreciate someone who is willing to do anything for them and love them unconditionally. I do, I love people unconditionally once they get under my skin. I just want to wrap them up in a wee wittle ball and keep them forever. People are precious and special. Why can't I be the same for you?
Harrassment...is nothing new to me. Growing up a fat little girl, you get use to the torment and trauma. So calling me names truly does nothing to me. It did a couple of years ago but I can genuinely say that now that I am in charge of my health and KNOW I am beauitful, it does nothing. We shouldn't let anyone bitch bully us. Calling me a pathetic excuse of a human being because your bf lied to you, not me, doesnt affect me. Saying no one would ever admit to dating me, does no affect. Why? Because it's all envy, jealousy and pride. They are too all of these things to admit that they are at fault, not I. When Nicole Pelosi pulled the same shit, I will admit it hurt and knocked me down a few pegs but that was only because I still loved that piece of shit ex of mine. No more. I am done protecting him and have been for a while. He is a puppet for whomever influences him. He isnt strong nor as badass as he claims cause if he was, he wouldnt let a fucking girl manipulate him and bully someone who has ALWAYS been there for him especially when NO ONE else was. For example: here is my last message to him as a good bye.:
Aaron; I didnt delete you out of anger or childishness. I deleted you for the fact that I mean what I say. I am walking away this time. I am done being taken for granted by you. You use me. You have used me since the day I cheated on you when I was 17 yrs old. I have tried to see the best in you...but you are so...fucked up. I will always care for you and wish you the best but I no longer want t obe apart of your train wreck. Women have always been your weakness and they always will be. I will hold the memory of when we were younger so I do not hate you bcz hate is a waste of my time. Ths with Cristina will not last and when that happens you will realize what kinda friend you lost. No more Aaron. I am better than the way you allow me to be treated. You are responsible. I am sorry tings have come to the point they have. It's bullshit that the person who actually TOLD her is still your friend and you aren't mad but the person who kept your secret and was there to support you is the bad guy. Oh well. I will miss our friendship and I wish you the best. I hope you find that good guy again. Good bye.
Sometimes; you just have to walk away. It took me awhile but I finally did.
417 is dead. Am I upset? Of course, but I will find love again one day and this will never matter. I wish I could of kept that friend I had in him, but he isnt even a friend to himself. He is posionous and keeps poisonous "girls" in his life.
I am shortly coming up on the age of 22 and I can honestly say I am thankful for all the strife in my life. If it wasn't for the pain, the deaths, the betrayal, neglectment, etc; that I would not be the Storm I am today. Many people call me Stormy and it just reminds me of the loving sweet girl I truly am, but at the same time I am very much so Storm. The strong, brave, ruthless woman who will stop at nothing to protect herself. If you are so lucky enough to get under my shell then I suggest you be grateful for the fact that I am very grateful for you and will love you forever.
Fuck! I have feelings!
