Never ever be scared of who you are or to be who you truly are. Too many of us settle to be who society thinks we are. Sometimes the people closest to us, don't even know.
Just ventured and had a very eye opening conversation with a friend overseas. I still wonder how people view me, but honestly does it matter? Ever?
I am who I am, no matter who views me.
If you are proud of your curves, SHOW THEM.
If you are loud and funny, VOICE IT.
If you have a knack for fixing shit, DO IT.
If you are just a really talented individual, BE YOU.
Stop changing for them, do it for you.
Be who YOU want to be.
Example: I am a Jill of all trades and I love it.
Hate on me now.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
A beauitfully devious book, you are.
Remember our parents telling us how bad it is to lie? Though; once we became older, we began seeing them lie themselves? Yea- me too.
They wanted to teach us to be better people than they are, I accept that. However the older we become the more we see necessary to lie about things. The reasons why our homework wasn't done, why we burnt a full tank of gas in three days or how we got that mark on our neck. We've all been there.
Now we are adults and are making internal excuses on why it's okay to lie about where we've been, who all we are seeing or have seen. I'll be the first to admit I lie. Nothing like I use to though. I was one of those girls that would see whoever the fuck I wanted and no one would ever know. I lived life on the edge, bouncing from guy to guy literally and would get out of situations by making up fake ones. It was just sooooo exhausting. I refer to myself at that time as a girl, for I am a woman now.
I pay all my bills, I do adult things without saying sorry and I take care of my own and my business.
Now days if I decide to dump one guy one day and within the week be with someone else, thats my business but I no longer have a reason to lie about it or hide it.
I can accept that everyone lies to a degree, it's nature, however there comes an age to where we shouldn't lie because we are hiding something but lie about certain occurences because it's none of that persons business. I can HONESTLY say I no longer lie to my parents nor my best friends because whatever I do, I am not scared to tell them for their reactions or how they may see me. They know I am an adult and I handle my business.
If I chose to fuck one guy but date another, that's my business and they know this. But if some one who barely knows me tries to ask questions then fuck yeah, I'm gonna lie. There's a fine line, ya know?
We should try not to do things that we would have to hide though. This is where I am trying to go with this. Stop living a public life and then a private life you keep hidden from everyone. Yes; you shouldn't tell your business to the world but don't bend backwards to hide things. I'm done with it and I am done doing it.
I am NOT condoning putting all your business on fb, but like if I were out with a guy that someone hadn't met yet I would introduce them as who they are and if they happen to be my bf then I will say that, then lets say that person goes on my fb page and says, "It was so nice meeting Davis, he is such a nice guy." I don't have to delete or hide it from someone like it's a secret. I'm an open book, a fucked up book but an open one.
They wanted to teach us to be better people than they are, I accept that. However the older we become the more we see necessary to lie about things. The reasons why our homework wasn't done, why we burnt a full tank of gas in three days or how we got that mark on our neck. We've all been there.
Now we are adults and are making internal excuses on why it's okay to lie about where we've been, who all we are seeing or have seen. I'll be the first to admit I lie. Nothing like I use to though. I was one of those girls that would see whoever the fuck I wanted and no one would ever know. I lived life on the edge, bouncing from guy to guy literally and would get out of situations by making up fake ones. It was just sooooo exhausting. I refer to myself at that time as a girl, for I am a woman now.
I pay all my bills, I do adult things without saying sorry and I take care of my own and my business.
Now days if I decide to dump one guy one day and within the week be with someone else, thats my business but I no longer have a reason to lie about it or hide it.
I can accept that everyone lies to a degree, it's nature, however there comes an age to where we shouldn't lie because we are hiding something but lie about certain occurences because it's none of that persons business. I can HONESTLY say I no longer lie to my parents nor my best friends because whatever I do, I am not scared to tell them for their reactions or how they may see me. They know I am an adult and I handle my business.
If I chose to fuck one guy but date another, that's my business and they know this. But if some one who barely knows me tries to ask questions then fuck yeah, I'm gonna lie. There's a fine line, ya know?
We should try not to do things that we would have to hide though. This is where I am trying to go with this. Stop living a public life and then a private life you keep hidden from everyone. Yes; you shouldn't tell your business to the world but don't bend backwards to hide things. I'm done with it and I am done doing it.
I am NOT condoning putting all your business on fb, but like if I were out with a guy that someone hadn't met yet I would introduce them as who they are and if they happen to be my bf then I will say that, then lets say that person goes on my fb page and says, "It was so nice meeting Davis, he is such a nice guy." I don't have to delete or hide it from someone like it's a secret. I'm an open book, a fucked up book but an open one.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Motherfuckers make me laugh
I debated a good bit about writing this blog because I am about to air out some ugly information and say some not so lady like things about a few men I know. I even consulted Moma and she agreed that I probabley shouldn't be stating what is about to be thrown down but what's the worst that can be said about me back? I have no dirty secrets, unlike them.
My first angry rant is going to go to Rashard Goff; the equialent to a complete meathead psychopath. He is the second craziest motherfucker I have EVER dated. Let me tell you the story. I had seen this guy around the gym and had checked him out repeatedly. Always saw him with this heavyset older woman, so never approached him. One unfortunate night for me, I actually had the nerve to introduce myself at Unleashed. Little did I know I had jsut met a crazy SOB. I mean how crazy can you be?! We hit it off VERY well. Had a fun arcade date and just enjoy our time. He of course showed signs but I ignored them cause I thought he was soooooooooo damn sexy. He was leaving in a week for Hawaii where he is stationed. No big deal right? We will jsut be casual. Well; he wanted me to committ but didnt want to himself. Babygirl was not having that! Still; things went smooth for about two months or so then crazy kicked in. I began getting jealous text whenever I didnt text right back, calling me names and accusing me of shit. Uh; am I not allowed to work out or sleep? Damn. Then the 3 am "I have nothing to live for, good-bye" messages began. For 6 months I tried to console this big gorilla and be good to him but it was never enough. When I started asking around about Rashard, people began telling me he has been threatening suicide for years and has an obsession with bigger girls, like 2x bigger than me. So I cut it off. He of course deleted me and blocked me and sent me a fuck you kidna text. Ok, ok; that's fine. A couple weeks later he sent me another I wanna die text and I was so pissed still that I said back, "God Speed."
I truly felt bad for saying that but there's no going back lol. I said what I said and that was it. I went on to date crazier: Jarrod Shutte and some other decent guys and a major Marine douchebag. Never worked out and whatever. Well in February I believe; I had heard he was doing good so I decided to reach out and try to be nice. He said he missed me and thought of me alot. I WAS NOT going to go back to crazy but it felt good that he seemed to appreciate me. It took him nearly two days til he asked if we cld have phone sex and if when he gto back we would hook up. I said fuck no to the phone sex and maybe to the other. lol He was sexy. I dont think he liked that too much. Later on in this douchebaggery of his he became angry that I was dating someone and I told him to kick rocks. Well he didnt delete just kinda dropped off the map. Let me remind you of how terrible he was to me when we were "unofficially" together. I sent him $60 dollars worth of shit and a shipment that cost me $30 to send! Did he EVER do anything for me? Fuck no; just drank and took slutty pics with some Army whores. He didnt even acknowledge that we were an item. Piece of shit.
So; here I am dating this amazing guy who is also in the Army. I mean; he is in AFGANISTAN and STILL has done more for me and cared more for me than someone who was here and I was with for 6 months. That says loads to me. Anyways; he gets angry AGAIN! No big deal til he starts writing status talking shit about the Army. Like really? He has a 4 year degree, he could of been an Officer, he chose not to. All he does is talk about dying and fuck everyone. No wonder people don't stick around RASHARD! and if they do its only cause they want your body. Anyhoo; the rest can be seen on fb. After a status fight he sends me a text stating that I am a dumb hoe and he hopes I die. LOL Like that really hurts?! Nope. So fuck you Rashard. Side note: Just try to care a little more about others and maybe you wouldn't be so miserable!
Next! Mark Spears. Legally he is my Uncle but I never want anything to do with that piece of shit and havent for a couple of years. Granted; I don't know that whole story which is fine but I know enough to tell the truth. Not only has he beaten PLENTY of women and I can count atleast TWO LITTLE GIRLS that he raped about 20 years ago but he took advantage of MY FAMILY. Who the fuck do you think you are? Him and his voulter of a wife JANA AYDELOTT took advantage of the loss of my Homey and tricked my Gin into moving to Tennessee where they could abuse her vulnerability and money. She was a new widow looking for companionship. Mark and Jana deserve to burn in hell. I won't dish my family secrets but if I ever met a bigger piece of shit, I'll let ya'll know.
This part is heresay since I didn't see it but a comment was made on my exes fb that he should go see "his piggy and piggys mom." Wow; a 40- something year old drunk, woman beating rapist called me a piggy, that hurts sooooo bad let me tell you! Seriosuly; people should think about what they say because someone like me is going to get pissed and say what I know to be true. Now I know plenty of people are going to read this, somehow it will get to Mark and honestly I don't care. Please tell that drunk POS and his manipulative linebacker wife that if they wanna start some shit that I am right here in Brandon, FL. Funny how a "grown man" lets his own wife take care of him liek he is a child because that's what he is: a child. It is the only reason he stays with her is because he has no where to go. He cant even live in the state of fl bcz he wld go to jail over old warrants. Who the fuck in their right mind would let a felon adopt a baby? Let alone a RACIST man adopt a mixed baby. Poor child; never had a chance. Atleast it's a boy and probabley won't be raped. Yes; my words are harsh but 100% true. If Homey was still around he would be so ashamed.
Congratulations Mark and Jana for being the biggest pieces of shit I have ever come across, even more so than Johanna Hunter who molested me for 7 years of my life and the two men who took advantage of me. So please; go fuck yourselves and drink some more!
My first angry rant is going to go to Rashard Goff; the equialent to a complete meathead psychopath. He is the second craziest motherfucker I have EVER dated. Let me tell you the story. I had seen this guy around the gym and had checked him out repeatedly. Always saw him with this heavyset older woman, so never approached him. One unfortunate night for me, I actually had the nerve to introduce myself at Unleashed. Little did I know I had jsut met a crazy SOB. I mean how crazy can you be?! We hit it off VERY well. Had a fun arcade date and just enjoy our time. He of course showed signs but I ignored them cause I thought he was soooooooooo damn sexy. He was leaving in a week for Hawaii where he is stationed. No big deal right? We will jsut be casual. Well; he wanted me to committ but didnt want to himself. Babygirl was not having that! Still; things went smooth for about two months or so then crazy kicked in. I began getting jealous text whenever I didnt text right back, calling me names and accusing me of shit. Uh; am I not allowed to work out or sleep? Damn. Then the 3 am "I have nothing to live for, good-bye" messages began. For 6 months I tried to console this big gorilla and be good to him but it was never enough. When I started asking around about Rashard, people began telling me he has been threatening suicide for years and has an obsession with bigger girls, like 2x bigger than me. So I cut it off. He of course deleted me and blocked me and sent me a fuck you kidna text. Ok, ok; that's fine. A couple weeks later he sent me another I wanna die text and I was so pissed still that I said back, "God Speed."
I truly felt bad for saying that but there's no going back lol. I said what I said and that was it. I went on to date crazier: Jarrod Shutte and some other decent guys and a major Marine douchebag. Never worked out and whatever. Well in February I believe; I had heard he was doing good so I decided to reach out and try to be nice. He said he missed me and thought of me alot. I WAS NOT going to go back to crazy but it felt good that he seemed to appreciate me. It took him nearly two days til he asked if we cld have phone sex and if when he gto back we would hook up. I said fuck no to the phone sex and maybe to the other. lol He was sexy. I dont think he liked that too much. Later on in this douchebaggery of his he became angry that I was dating someone and I told him to kick rocks. Well he didnt delete just kinda dropped off the map. Let me remind you of how terrible he was to me when we were "unofficially" together. I sent him $60 dollars worth of shit and a shipment that cost me $30 to send! Did he EVER do anything for me? Fuck no; just drank and took slutty pics with some Army whores. He didnt even acknowledge that we were an item. Piece of shit.
So; here I am dating this amazing guy who is also in the Army. I mean; he is in AFGANISTAN and STILL has done more for me and cared more for me than someone who was here and I was with for 6 months. That says loads to me. Anyways; he gets angry AGAIN! No big deal til he starts writing status talking shit about the Army. Like really? He has a 4 year degree, he could of been an Officer, he chose not to. All he does is talk about dying and fuck everyone. No wonder people don't stick around RASHARD! and if they do its only cause they want your body. Anyhoo; the rest can be seen on fb. After a status fight he sends me a text stating that I am a dumb hoe and he hopes I die. LOL Like that really hurts?! Nope. So fuck you Rashard. Side note: Just try to care a little more about others and maybe you wouldn't be so miserable!
Next! Mark Spears. Legally he is my Uncle but I never want anything to do with that piece of shit and havent for a couple of years. Granted; I don't know that whole story which is fine but I know enough to tell the truth. Not only has he beaten PLENTY of women and I can count atleast TWO LITTLE GIRLS that he raped about 20 years ago but he took advantage of MY FAMILY. Who the fuck do you think you are? Him and his voulter of a wife JANA AYDELOTT took advantage of the loss of my Homey and tricked my Gin into moving to Tennessee where they could abuse her vulnerability and money. She was a new widow looking for companionship. Mark and Jana deserve to burn in hell. I won't dish my family secrets but if I ever met a bigger piece of shit, I'll let ya'll know.
This part is heresay since I didn't see it but a comment was made on my exes fb that he should go see "his piggy and piggys mom." Wow; a 40- something year old drunk, woman beating rapist called me a piggy, that hurts sooooo bad let me tell you! Seriosuly; people should think about what they say because someone like me is going to get pissed and say what I know to be true. Now I know plenty of people are going to read this, somehow it will get to Mark and honestly I don't care. Please tell that drunk POS and his manipulative linebacker wife that if they wanna start some shit that I am right here in Brandon, FL. Funny how a "grown man" lets his own wife take care of him liek he is a child because that's what he is: a child. It is the only reason he stays with her is because he has no where to go. He cant even live in the state of fl bcz he wld go to jail over old warrants. Who the fuck in their right mind would let a felon adopt a baby? Let alone a RACIST man adopt a mixed baby. Poor child; never had a chance. Atleast it's a boy and probabley won't be raped. Yes; my words are harsh but 100% true. If Homey was still around he would be so ashamed.
Congratulations Mark and Jana for being the biggest pieces of shit I have ever come across, even more so than Johanna Hunter who molested me for 7 years of my life and the two men who took advantage of me. So please; go fuck yourselves and drink some more!
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