What if God was one of us

Another loose cannon gone bi-polar
Slipped down, couldn't get much lower.
Quicksand's got no sense of humor.
I'm still laughing like hell.
You think that by crying to me
Looking so sorry that I'm gonna believe,
You've been infected by a social disease.
Well, then take your medicine.

I created the Sound of Madness.
Wrote the book on pain.
Somehow I'm still here,
To explain,
That the darkest hour never comes in the night.
You can sleep with a gun.
When you gonna wake up and fight... for yourself?

Amazing song, amazing lyrics. I haven't listened to this song SO MANY times and even sang every word and never comprehended the full meaning til I read the lyrics. Damn. I think the lead singer of Shinedown reached into my soul & ripped out my madness. How did he know?!
Lately, I have felt a little out of control. There isn't enough time in the day. I think I live at work. Then at the same time I feel like I am constantly being watched like someone is waiting for me to mess up. This job means EVERYTHING to me. Like, EVERYTHING. It has opened so many doors for me and I can see a bright future, not to mention the things Phil & I have dsicussed. I just got to keep my eye on the prize. I just get soooo distracted. What if there were 36 hours in a day? That would be RAD. I cld sleep 10, work 9, gym & then a social life! YES! & not be panicking over "Am I skyping too long? I need sleep." I have to sacrifice somewhere. First it was my social life and here lately it's been my sleep. Ugh:/
But I cant HELP IT! I am just overstimulated by the internet & the power to virtually video chat! How did I ever live before Skype? lol
Like I have this awesome Australian buddy now. That would of never been possible before. (Hey Marek:D)
& I can keep in touch w my Marine Japan & other people I dont necessarily see on a daily basis or weekly.
Do you see my issue? I am over stimulated! Over communicated!
But then at the same time, I'm lonely.
Ugh, fuck that.
No, I am JUST FINE.
Or is that just the sound of madness? Am I infected by social disease?

What ever happened to simplicity? Granted, I have never been a simple kinda girl-I am quite complicated. I blame it on being a Gemini. I have this friend Deraven who is a Gemini to the core just like me. But he is a different type of Gemini. More of the outrageous side. I would like to think I am more of the controlled hothead. Thinking of it, I am really attracted to Geminis. Gina, one of my closest friends isa Gemini & I adore her bcz of her outrageousness. Japan is a Gemini & well...you know how that one goes. &&& there have been others. I guess I just really like Geminis. We are fun as shit. But fucked up. Or is that just me?
I'm glutton for Pain.